Who Am I?

Who Am I? That’s a question I think a lot of people suffer with finding an answer to. I am one of those people. I always thought I knew who I was. For me it was always rainbows, unicorns, and princesses. I wanted to be a chef or a makeup artist and get married and have multiple children. I planned my life like many little kids but I genuinely thought that was what I wanted up until sophomore year of high school. A lot of stuff happened in sophomore year and I became extremely depressed. A lot of people I thought would never hurt me left me In pieces. I almost commit suicide, I  drank & smoked a lot, I even tried drugs, I just wanted anything to get the heartache to go away. I did self detrustive behaviors for the thrill of it. Thanks to my closet friends I have stopped a lot of these behaviors but one thing stuck with me through sophomore year which is that same question, who am I? People changed me. I’m no longer all rainbows and unicorns but I’m also no longer a dark depressed druggy. Sophomore year I also realized I liked girls. That was scary for me at first but I’m now out and proud. That’s part of who I am. I realized I’m growing up and it’s okay not to love pink  and makeup as much anymore. I know now it’s okay to not be okay and trying to hold it together all the time will only make me lose myself and make dumb decisions. I may not know who I am right now but that’s okay. I’m finding myself